According to Nostradamus*, signs indicate that the Zombiepocalypse is nearly upon us. The “Jane Austen Zombies” book franchise, AMC’s hit show The Walking Dead, and even the nightly news show us stories of hazy-eyed automatons roaming the night.
But here’s the real danger for writers (we’ll make our point with pictures):
A writer before making submissions:
A writer after making submissions:
Yes, that’s right. ZOMBIES are just WRITERS who didn’t get the help they needed and worked themselves to un-death.
(You’ve probably met some of these zombies at writing conferences; they’re usually at the bar.)
So while other people in the world have to be afraid OF zombies, we writers have to be afraid of TURNING INTO THEM.
But there IS an antidote!
Writers: How To Protect Yourself From The Zombiepocalypse
Even if you’re already starting to get that drooly, glassy-eyed zombie stare from being overworked, it’s not too late to save yourself!
Writer’s Relief is your anti-zombie shotgun of sanity.
Let our expert team of submission strategists research, prepare, and submit your work to literary journals or literary agents.
You can use your extra free time to get the sleep you’ll need so your immune system can successfully fight off the virus that turns writers into zombies.
(Doctor’s note: All writers are carriers of this virus, but it only comes out during times of high stress or busyness.**)
We are willing to prepare the submissions for talented writers in the following genres:
- SHORT CREATIVE PROSE
We implore you: Act now while you still know how to talk, use a keyboard, and blink your eyes!
Submit your work to our Review Board for free, confidential, no-obligation consideration. New clients are accepted on a rolling basis.
As you know, the zombie virus runs rampant in October and becomes increasingly aggressive as we get closer to the holidays. The federal government has a secret department dedicated to keeping tabs on writers who run the risk of turning into work-fried zombies.***
But we guarantee that Writer’s Relief can help you avoid this fate!
**Actually, this isn’t true either.
***Also not true. But what IS true is that Writer’s Relief will save you TONS of time, stress, and agitation. And our professionalism, experience, and dedication may help your submissions achieve better results than if you were working alone.
Of all the things I thought I needed to worry about as an aspiring writer, I did not realize zombies were one of them. You guys teach me something new all the time!
After I finish a long night of writing, I often do scare myself when I pass a mirror. The zombies are coming…and I’m one of them!