Pop Quiz: How Big a Grammar Geek Are You?

by | Aug 12, 2015 | Editing And Editors, Humor For Writers, The Writing Life | 2 comments

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Deadline: Thursday, September 16th

Grammar Geek

If you’re reading this blog, it’s probably safe to say that you have a healthy respect for the written word. But when you’re out in public, do you find that your grammar gripes get the best of you?

Take our quiz to find out just how much of a grammar geek you are!

1. You see this sign in a bathroom at a fast-food restaurant:

proofneeding_hands

You immediately:

a. Wash your hands and wonder why anyone would need a sign to be reminded to participate in basic hygiene.
b. Return to the table, laughing so hard you’re crying, and try to explain to your friends what’s so funny.
c. Drag your friends to the bathroom and spend three minutes explaining the misuse of scare quotes.
d. Call the health inspector: This is no laughing matter.

2. Your critique group finds a typo in your latest submission. You:

a. Shrug it off: It’s the content that matters most.
b. Blush and apologize. What a silly mistake!
c. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, take a few deep breaths in the mirror to steady yourself, then return to the group.
d. Insist that there’s no way you made that typo. It must have been autocorrect!

3. You’re driving down the road on the way to work and you see this:

You:

a. Don’t register it—because who can proofread and drive?
b. Chuckle a little and drive on.
c. Hit the brakes so hard that the squeal of your tires echoes your inner scream of horror.
d. Under the cover of darkness, correct the typo; otherwise, it will drive you nuts every time you pass the sign.

4. You order a cake at the grocery store. When you arrive to pick it up, this is what you see:

proofneeding_creppyHalloween

You:

a. Eat it anyway—cake is cake.
b. Decide the decorator must have been going for irony, because you are in fact creeped out by the cake, but that doesn’t mean you won’t eat it anyway.
c. Attempt to fix the misspelling yourself—you cannot possibly be expected to ingest a typo.
d. Throw it in the garbage—if the bakers messed up the word “creepy,” who knows what else they messed up?

5. You’re watching the evening news and see this on television:

Photo via Engrish & Funny Typos

You:

a. Think—hey, nobody said “fair and balanced” also has to mean spell-checked.
b. Pause your TV and snap a picture. Because no one is going to believe this really happened.
c. Call the station to voice your on-air opinion about pubic defending.
d. Turn off your TV and read a book—not an e-book, but the kind where the words are on actual pages.

6. You’re about to drop off your child at college when you see this:

perparing-child

Photo via Engrish & Funny Typos

a. Think: Thank goodness my kid’s studying math!
b. Assume the sign was designed by a pledge hurrying off to a frat party.
c. Use it as a “teachable moment” to talk to your child about the importance of good proofreading.
d. Pack everything back in the car and leave, determined to homeschool your child in college courses.

7. On a road trip, you see this sign:

Photo via Engrish & Funny Typos

And you:

a. Pull over. You are about to have the most amazing sandwich of your life.
b. Keep driving: You are allergic to “tomotos.”
c. Kindly offer the owner your mother’s treasured advice: Sandwiches don’t grow on trees.
d. Go inside and demand that the sign is corrected immediately, and don’t leave until it’s actually done.

Your Results! What’s Your Grammar Geek Level?

Mostly As: You’re a Lexicographical Loafer. You might have a good command of grammar and usage, but it’s not something you think about on a daily basis. There are things to worry about in life, and typos aren’t one of them…er…typos aren’t among them!

Mostly Bs: You’re a Weekend Wordsmith. You notice typos regularly, but they don’t make you go crazy. In fact, typos cheer you up and tickle your funny bone. You spot errors the way an ornithologist studies rare birds. Your friends happily put up with your occasional, energetic rants about poor proofreading.

Mostly Cs: You’re a Syntax Stickler. You’re that kid in class who always used to correct the teacher. You’re a purist when it comes to language use, and you never miss an opportunity to teach someone about pronoun agreement or gerunds.

Mostly Ds: You’re a Lunatic Logophile. You’re a Zorro with a Sharpie marker, correcting all that is spelled wrong in the world. You’ve got a dictionary app on your phone and you’re not afraid to use it—no leniency for slang or new usages!

Writer QuestionsPost your results in our comments section! Are you a Lexicographical Loafer or a Syntax Stickler? We want to know!

 

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2 Comments

  1. Wendy

    #3 is so “free verse” I’m not sure what it’s trying to say. I had to look at it several times before I even found the typo because there was so much that didn’t make sense in the first place.

    Reply
  2. Evelyn

    There was no clear cut choice for me having three B’s and three C’s. In reading the descriptions, I completely understand why this would happen as I am often b and sometimes c in my reactions to grammar usage.

    Reply

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