Oh, The Things We Know: The Strange Workings Of The Writing Mind

by | Oct 8, 2009 | Humor For Writers | 3 comments

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If you’re like most writers, you spend much of your time with your nose in a book. Writers are always learning, always curious, always searching for new information that will enliven and surprise readers. As a result, writers tend to know things that extend past the realm of common knowledge. Here’s a list of some of the weird things writers know. Feel free to add your own esoteric tidbits!

Writers know:

  • How to remove bloodstains from the trunk of a car.
  • Twenty different ways to express love.
  • How to make a radio from a toothpick, a staple gun, and a crew neck sweater.
  • The meanings of words such as variegated, ululation, and consanguine.
  • The difference between altered states and parallel universes.
  • How to survive being buried in an avalanche.
  • What people in the 17th century do (and do not) say, eat, drink, and wear.
  • What drugs will stop a heart but not show up in an autopsy.
  • How to invent a brand-new language for an alien species.
  • Murphy Oil Soap works wonders when washing elephants.
  • “Facetious” uses all the vowels in the correct order.
  • Why plump red tomatoes are more fun to use in poetry than the lowly turnip.
  • How to sum up a novel in twelve words or less.
  • One must have a license to keep a bear in Ohio.
  • Urban slang, teen-speak, and 18th-century idioms.
  • How to survive on Top Ramen and Kool-Aid for two weeks.
  • The United Nations University is located in Tokyo.
  • The most common word in the English language is “the.”
  • Writer’s block is not a myth.
  • The joy of eight simple words: “Not bad. I think we can use this!”

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3 Comments

  1. Ron Darian

    A primitive, yet functional, crystal radio can be made with an old pencil, razor blade, Slinky, and a little bit of luck.

    If I were stranded on a desert island, I’d rather it be with a scientist than a writer!

    Reply
  2. Leahsandra Powell

    More about the mind of a serial killer than a woman who’s home alone a lot ought to…

    Reply
  3. ed cyzewski

    I don’t know, this kind of information seems like it’s essential for an introverted writer trying to make small talk… bad small talk perhaps, but small talk nonetheless. 😉

    Reply

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