New Year’s Resolutions

by | Jan 1, 2008 | Humor For Writers, Other Helpful Information | 1 comment

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Deadline: Thursday, December 22nd

In 2008 I resolve to learn more about my computer and relegate the Smith-Corona to the attic. I'm pretty sure the cup holder has an alternate purpose, and this is the year I will figure it out. Also, I'm confounded by all those buttons on the keyboard that don't have letters, but that will have to wait until 2009.

In 2008 I resolve to vacuum the food from around my desk. I will uncover two square feet of clean carpet in my office and lord it over all those other slobs out there.

In 2008 I resolve to get over old grudges against editors and agents who have rejected my work. (Hey, this is progress! I said rejected my work instead of rejected me!) I will throw away all voodoo dolls and try to develop a thicker skin. Or perhaps check into an alternate form of black magic.

In 2008 I resolve to come up with a catchy screen name and a cool avatar for all those writers' forums I lurk on. Maybe I'll post someday too. Oh, and I'll come up with a better password than "creativepassword."

In 2008 I resolve to get my eyes checked and/or clean the computer screen. I'm pretty sure I'm missing some stuff under there.

In 2008 I resolve to never again write dually noted, fowl breath, their okay now, or I shuttered with revulsion. Also, I promise to watch out for complaint pupil, scared vows, and hiking trials.

In 2008 I will develop a better method of keeping track of my work. Maybe if I get organized, the mice will search elsewhere for good nesting material, and I can dump the cardboard boxes under the desk.

In 2008 I resolve to…

Oh heck.

Every year I make resolutions that never stick, so here are some new promises I'm virtually guaranteed to keep:

In 2008 I resolve to sleep less, gain weight, lose important keys/papers/children, stub my little toe several times, and start biting my nails. I will surf the Net when I'm supposed to be writing and call it "research." This is the year where I will swear off vegetables, vitamins, and fresh air, and I will no longer bravely ignore celebrity gossip or infomercials.

Happy New Year! Seriously…2008 can be a great year for you AND your writing!

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. ~Oscar Wilde


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1 Comment

  1. Rully Mangunsong

    Thank you for your posting and your great article.

    2013 – my new year’s resolutions – more time for sports, go on diet, and stay healthy ….

    Reply

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