Sending your work to agents and editors can bring out a range of emotions from writers, but it’s good to know you’re not alone in the frustration/sadness/rage/self-deprecation associated with the submission process. Enjoy this humorous take on the phases of submitting!
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Deciding your work is ready for the world to see:
…But subsequently realizing there are a LOT of literary journals/agents out there, and you have no idea who to send it to:
So you start to get lazy and suddenly, everything else on Earth seems more entertaining:
And then you start to feel like you’re not a good enough writer to submit anywhere:
When you finally find the perfect journal/agent, but they just stopped reading:
When you find a journal that’s perfect for you, but they don’t accept simultaneous submissions:
Finding out a lot of journals don’t pay for publication:
Trying to accommodate all the different submission requirements:
When you finally get into the submission groove, but there’s an issue (i.e., you run out of stamps, their website is down):
Getting the courage to actually press “send”/put it in the mail:
When you’re FINALLY done:
Trying to keep track of everything you’ve submitted and where you’ve submitted it to:
Realizing you made a mistake AFTER you made a submission:
Waiting to hear back:
The first rejection:
Getting rejected within 24 hours:
The super-brief rejections:
Those long rejections filled to the brim with apologies:
After receiving a few more rejections:
“We respond within 6-8 weeks,” but you sent it 6 months ago:
And the worst of all—“We only respond when interested”:
After what feels like your millionth rejection:
Trying not to let everything get to you:
Want submission help from an experienced, successful, fun-loving team dedicated to your success as a creative writer? CLICK HERE to check out the Writer’s Relief SUBMISSION GUIDELINES page. Please note: Acceptance into our full-service program is by invitation only, so please send your strongest work. Keep writing, keep submitting, and have some fun!
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This was so accurate and hilarious. I am laughing still because this is my life.
I especially connect with Blanche Devereaux. “My brain’s gone!”
Hilarious! I can relate. But thanks to Writer’s Relief, I’m closer than I’ve ever been, and I’m determined to keep going.
My concept is that you should take what I WANT to write and do your best with that. I’ve had enough of the other kind of judgment. So now I merely do ghostwriting.
How refreshing to be able to identify with someone who has been there, but also able to see the humor. Thanks for including us in your fun and light-hearted perspective.
Spot on humor, my feelings exactly. :o)
Oh good, I thought it was just me.
I’m a novelist. Got so fed up, I self-published two books, with two to go, and the fifth on the horizon. I might not be the best editor, proofreader or agent, but I AM the publisher. So there.
This is such a hoot! And so true. In my experience, the rejection times vary from 48 hours to infinity. And that just drives me crazy. After waiting two years to hear something back, you read somewhere that the journal went out of business eighteen months ago.