Love is in the air! But alas, you’ve been so busy working on your latest writing project, you haven’t had time to find someone to buy chocolates and roses for. Thankfully, the romantics here at Writer’s Relief have the perfect answer: a literary speed dating quiz! Unfortunately, many of the authors you might be crushing on—Jane Austen, David Sedaris, Stacey Abrams, Edgar Allan Poe—already have plans for Valentine’s Day. So, we’ve invited a few influential, old-world authors to compete for your affections. Take this fun quiz to discover which old-world author would be your date!
Spoiler: Shakespeare wasn’t invited because a) he’d likely skip out if you’re not buying, and b) he’s too busy rolling in his grave this time of year from people misquoting his sonnets and misunderstanding Romeo & Juliet.
Quiz: Find Out Which Old-World Author Is Your Love Match
What kind of storytelling makes your heart race?
- Multi-book sagas in intricate worlds
- Characters, characters, and more characters
- Mystery and danger
What kind of characters do you love to write?
- Heroes with fantastical resolve
- High class but no class
- Broody and beautiful
How do you like to keep your readers guessing?
- Who knows where they’ll go for their next adventure!
- Fights that aren’t resolved until the next chapter
- Slow burn and political intrigue
What are your characters passionate about?
- Intricate quests
Where would your main character(s) have their first kiss?
- In front of everyone’s parents
Mostly 1: Homer
Credited author of two bedrocks of Western literature: The Iliad and The Odyssey.
Looks like your ideal old-world author date is someone who can weave long, extravagant tales! However, be careful if you catch him in a lie, because you’ll get a convoluted explanation. Homer may mention wanting to drag your ex around the walls of the restaurant (despite the pleas of everyone inside). And if you set up a second date, you might end up waiting ten years for him to call back.
Mostly 2: Luo Guanzhong
Author of one of the four great Chinese literary classics, the 3,000-page war epic Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
You long for someone family-oriented! But you’ll have a lot of competition: His friends, colleagues, acquaintances, bartenders, mall Santas—everyone Guanzhong ever meets, he integrates into his life with the same voracity. It’s great that he’s so friendly; just be careful you don’t end up taking care of the kids and house (and his parents and grandparents) while trying to sort out the names of everyone in his life. And you won’t even know if they’re relevant for another twenty years!
Mostly 3: Murasaki Shikibu
Given name of the author of what may be the first novel ever written, the Japanese classic The Tale of Genji, as well as her more personal The Diary of Lady Murasaki.
You have a soft spot for someone who needs to be rescued—from herself! But before you jump to the aid of your Hallmark movie heroine, you’ve got to do what no one else has done: get to know her! Shikibu is an innovator and defined by what she does, but she is also incredibly mysterious. For instance, is that even her real name? And do you want to be with someone who has such an intricate knowledge of the private lives of high-profile politicians?
Question: Let us know in the comments whose storytelling style you’re inviting back to your place!