10 Holiday Gifts You Should Never Give To A Writer

by | Dec 20, 2013 | Humor For Writers, Other Helpful Information | 15 comments

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Whether they celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or even Festivus, ’tis the season to give your writer friends holiday gifts. There are a great many good gifts you can give a writer, but unless you’re tempted to play the Grinch this year, here are 10 holiday gifts you should never give to a writer:

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Plenty of people, writers and non-writers alike, dispute that the holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year. Don’t feed their cynicism by being one of those people who give the holiday gifts you should never give to a writer!

Writer QuestionsQUESTION: As a writer, what’s been the worst holiday gift you’ve received?

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15 Comments

  1. Linda Kraus

    Very, very clever!

    Reply
  2. Renee CK

    I have to disagree with the typewriter suggestion; I collect vintage typewriters as a reminder of how far my craft has come. (And I name them too. c:)

    Best,
    Renee

    Reply
  3. Kevin

    I didn’t even half chuckle once…

    With that being said, I would be floored if someone bought me a type writer.

    Reply
  4. Harland Izatt

    Stiff unlined cardboard covered journal writing copybooks. Your whole energy is spend keeping the cover open… A sure bet for writer`s block. H

    Reply
  5. Nicole

    That was a very fun list!

    Reply
  6. Margaret Garside

    Novels by celebrities always frost my buns. I always wonder how many real writers got rejection slips so some starlet’s ‘novel’ could be a best-seller for a week and then end up on the remainder table.

    Reply
  7. Sally O'Doherty

    I would love a typewriter!! But i also write a lot by hand because i enjoy the tactile nature of pen to paper. Some celebs write very well…there are plenty of published professional writers with questionable abilities. I think worst “writing” gift i got was a wad of note paper and some pens from a motel…that said, i still used them so while a little budget, a practical gift for me.

    Reply
  8. Jim Foye

    You guys realize that a typewriter is on your best gift (linked above) and worst gift lists, right? By the way, a typewriter (for first drafts) is the way to go. Nothing, outside of writing with a pen and paper, better connects a writer to the page. They also force you to keep moving forward …. typewriters rock for first drafts!

    Reply
  9. Teya

    Funny! Although I’d love the typewriter! Some would make me laugh as a prank joke.

    Reply
  10. Brigitta M.

    As commenters before have said: I would love the typewriter as a gift. Not to use, but for nostalgic purposes. An IBM Selectric would be particularly nice for me because that’s the one I learned to type on. I miss the feel of rounded and soft keys of that particular model as opposed to the hard and flat keys of my laptop. *sigh*

    And… just for the record… I will read for food…

    Reply
  11. Wendy

    Can’t agree with either the crayons of the typewriter. Maybe you purists will claim that “writing” is exclusively about “putting WORDS to paper,” in today’s multi-media era, “writing” a book might not necessarily involve writing. For example, I’ve started “writing” adult coloring books. I put words to paper in creating instructions/guidelines and cover design, I deal with as much, if not more layout issues in self-publishing them as a text-only author does, and y’know what? A lot of people grab crayons to color these–it’s like using crayons is s license to be free about it.

    Typewriters–well ,there’s people that write a draft out longhand, and there’s people that like to in-the-truest-sense type their drafts out. And there’s this rebound against digital tech, people who not only type with a typewriter, but print on a letterpress! not to mention the growing body of typewriter artists.

    Reply
  12. Wendy

    Harland Izatt, I’m an artist as well as a writer. Do you know hard I LOOK for unlined books? Yes, I have artist sketchbooks, but they’re often bulky-covered (harder to stuff in my purse)and heavier-weight paper than I really need for quick pencil sketches.

    Reply
  13. Glenn Bowman

    A leather covered 4×6 journal, complete with a Cross ball point pen in a side holder, as if I’d never lose the pen. Just the thing to capture notes on my next novel when I’m double parked in my Jaguar outside of my publisher’s office.

    Reply
  14. Jodi

    Lol. This list goes to show one man’s junk is another man’s treasure. I personally can’t stand typewriters. I had to type reports on them for school, and I would make mistakes and have to start all over again. So thrilled when I got a word processor on a computer. Oh happy day, delete, copy, paste, move, save. Take that, religion professor!

    Hope everyone gets the gifts they want:) Merry Christmas!

    Reply

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