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Excuses, Excuses

Yes, we know. There are days when getting down to the task of writing is just plain difficult, if not impossible—days when it seems as if everything else is calling for your attention, and your muse has made like an amoeba and split. It’s okay. You can take a day off once in a while. Here are some excuses that might help:

After getting my head caught in the car’s power window, I think I deserve a day off. Plus, I’m still trying to recover from that nasty little Tupperware incident.

There’s a marathon of Law and Order today, and I’ve got seven more episodes to go. I am not entirely goofing off, however, as I am brushing up on both my urban dialogue and courtroom procedures for that novel I’m working on. (Yes, my book is about puppies on a farm, but I’m sure something will prove useful…)

Writing cuts into my daydreaming time. I can’t really afford to give that up, as daydreaming provides me with all those brilliant ideas that someday will be translated to paper. There’s a masterpiece just waiting to make itself known, and if I don’t pay attention, I could lose that great idea. Besides, the pattern in this carpet is fascinating.

My finger hurts. I’ve been working on a nifty little trick, but Ripley’s Believe It Or Not doesn’t consider balancing a pencil on the finger for six hours to be a record-setting event. Maybe if I try balancing my keyboard on my forehead…?

I’m far too busy alphabetizing my rejection letters to write today. Does “No Way” come before “No Way, Jose”?

I had a dream last night that writing could be hazardous to my health today. And if you think I’m risking the bubonic plague to get one lousy story written, you’re crazy!

My new paper shredder is too distracting. I had no idea how many things there are around here that need shredding. I wonder if my neighbor has any sensitive documents to destroy?

I sneezed twice today, and I’m pretty sure I need to spend today recuperating. Outside. On a lawn chair. With a celebrity gossip magazine. And an iced tea with fresh mint. Oh, and how about some nachos?

The dog is sick and needs my attention. His paws were twitching while he was sleeping this morning, so I am monitoring him for seizure activity. This could take all day, just to warn you.

I don’t want to be famous. If I wrote a new chapter today, I’d be one step closer to fame and notoriety, and I’m far too private to offer myself up to the public eye. Plus, people might start expecting more work from me, and that puts undue pressure on my psyche (which is a little fragile already).

Seriously though, if you’re hesitating about sending your creative writing to editors or your novel to agents, give us a call to talk with one of our submission strategists. You know that old saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”? Now may be the right time to get your publishing career started. Give us a call to learn how we’ve helped writers just like you reach their publishing goals.

REMEMBER TO CHECK OUT OUR LIST OF WRITING CONTESTS and ANTHOLOGIES! You won’t find a better list anywhere (AND IT’S FREE!) of upcoming anthologies, special-themed journals, and contests. Find it by visiting:
http://www.writersreliefblog.com/post/Anthologies-Contests.aspx

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